How To Find Courage
“Dig your well before you are thirsty…” (And you will be thirsty)
Maybe you’ve heard this one before. It was (is) a Chinese proverb, which has since been used as a marketing slogan, book title, and most famously and most recently, an intro to a Medium article.
Because it’s been around for awhile, and applied in so many different ways, it can take on multiple meanings depending on the context of its application. Basically, you are going to need “x” at some point (water in the most basic sense of the proverb, in case you were having a difficult time following along), so before you need “x”, you should start preparing, because it might be too late to get it once you decide you need it.
What About Courage?
My perspective on courage, and I suspect yours might be the same, is that it’s some innate quality, or super trait reserved for a Navy Seal, or a knight in shining armor, or Jack Reacher.
They face a tough situation and rather than fleeing or doubting or throwing themselves feebly at the situation, they attack it with vigor, and gusto, and unwavering confidence. They are COURAGEOUS.
They have courage and we do not.
Could we have it? And if so, how? And why are we so afraid?
You’re not lazy. You’re not bored. You’re not unmotivated. What you are — what all of us are — is afraid. -Niklas Göke
Full article here:
If you are training for secret missions that most people will never know about that help keep our country safe (SEAL), or saving princesses (knight), or fighting injustice before skipping town without a trace (Reacher), then you probably aren’t reading this.
If you are a “normal” person like me, those situations don’t really apply. Our fears are more discrete, but still very harmful. Our fears sneak into our self-talk, our negative perspectives, and our doubts. Our fears keep us in the job we hate, or the one that’s just okay but doesn’t really fit. Our fears keep us from hitting publish, or from lacing up the shoes, or from picking up the phone.
Our fear, our lack of courage, is much less obvious than facing the fire breathing dragon or the 6'7'’ trained killer in hand to hand combat. Our fears are sneaky and devious and they often hide behind half-truths, “reality” and “life” explanations.
You know this already.
So what about the courage?
We often see courage the wrong way. We have it confused, mixed up, or mislabled. It doesn’t have to be about some kind of DNA advantage. It’s more about something that we can all do.
Practice. Stick with me.
I’m no specialist in any area regarding SEALS, knights in shining armor, or Jack Reacher. I know enough about the SEALS to know that I respect the heck out of those guys and (huge understatement) value what they go through to protect our country.
I’ve also read enough Jack Reacher novels to know that I wouldn’t mind being Jack Reacher.
So while I’m no specialist, I know a little bit, and the little bit I know tells me this:
When we look at examples like these, and any other “big” courage examples, I think most of the time we are seeing it wrong. The courage we admire from these types of people comes more from their practice than it does from their genetics.
The SEALS go through grueling training and not everyone makes it. It’s incredible, and anyone who even attempts that process has my utmost respect.
And, after listening to the Jocko Willink Podcast, I learned that the initial training/challenge is just to have the opportunity to become a SEAL. In other words, after 24 weeks of training, the real training begins.
I know even less about what it takes to be a knight in shining armor, and believe it or not, there aren’t too many articles out there to explain the process, at least not with any relevance to today’s world.
Same for Jack Reacher, except that he just continuously does Jack Reacher things. Move into a town, find trouble or have trouble find you, beat a bunch of people up, get the girl, solve the crime, move to a new town, repeat the process.
Here’s the point, in case I lost you, or if you left to read another article and forgot what you read here:
These guys that we hold in high esteem as being courageous actually have one big thing in common and it’s not that they were born awesome. They have loads and loads of PRACTICE. You have to make it through 24 weeks of brutal training just to have the chance to become a SEAL.
You have to do a bunch of knight in shining armor things before you become a knight in shining armor.
You have to Jack Reacher your way all across the country on Greyhound buses and hitchhiked rides before you become Jack Reacher.
You have to practice courage.
And you have to practice the courage before you really need the courage.
Dig your well before you are thirsty.
It looks like courage, but it’s just practice. People think they don’t have courage and they miss the whole point of courage. They have not practiced. That’s what’s missing. -Steve Chandler
So can we, could we, have the courage of a SEAL or a knight in shining armor, or Jack Reacher?
Yes! But our courage doesn’t have to look like theirs.
We need the courage to speak up at work. We need the courage to be good parents. We need the courage to ship our work. We need the courage to start the thing and see it through.
And we get that courage by doing something we are all capable of doing.
We PRACTICE.
We start by putting on our shoes and going for a walk.
We write, not when we feel like it, but because we need to write.
We hit publish or send or share, not because it’s perfect, but because we need to practice sending it out into the world.
We practice patience with our kids because we know it’s the only way to become more patient.
We speak up at work, first to ourselves, then in our team meetings, and eventually in front of the whole group. The only way to get there is to practice our way there.
We have to start digging the well of courage now, so that when we need to draw from it, we’ll be able to. Random, muscular, ex-military tough guys are not dropped into an enemy occupied zone in the middle of the night with the hopes that they’ll figure it out.
They train, they become SEALS, then they train some more. When the time comes, and they need to show up, they can rely on their training, on their practice.
We have a hard time showing up when things get hard, when we are afraid, and then we like to beat ourselves up as not good enough, or cowards.
The truth is, we just need more practice.
Do you have enough courage?
Do you have enough practice?
I’m pulling for you,
Bryan
