How To Be A Regular
Once or twice a month, my dad and I will go to breakfast together somewhere around town. We usually go to the same two or three places, and every time we go, the people in the restaurant know my dad. Sometimes he’ll even tell me stories about the waitress’s life or some extra detail that the average customer wouldn’t know.
And oftentimes, the waitress will ask him if he wants his usual, or ask a question about his order that only someone who had taken his order many times would know to ask. They’ll clarify what he wants, or remind him about how he had it cooked last time, and make sure they are getting it just right for him.
One of my goals in life, no kidding, is to be a regular at a place. To walk in and have a place that I always sit in, and the staff welcomes me by name, and maybe they even just bring me my food without me ordering because they know me so well.
I’m not sure why I find that so appealing, but I think it’s about having “your” place, the relationship and connection with the people, and the pleasantness of the overall experience. It also means that you’ve earned it. You can’t just be a regular because you want to. Your place has to see you as a regular first.
I think there are two ways to be a regular at a restaurant.
First, you could have a lot of money that you are willing to spend in ridiculous ways. While I’m not entirely sure about this, because I don’t have the money to test the theory, I think this is a realistic path to my goal. I imagine if I walked into a restaurant of my choosing, and dolled out enough cash at the onset, and then tipped really, really well, that I might be able to go in and set the terms to the owner or manager. “I’ll give you x-amount of money if I can reserve that booth, and if you’ll have a carafe of coffee and some huevos rancheros waiting for me every Saturday at 8 AM. Also, I’d like to have that listed on the menu as the Señor Hendley. I don’t know how much money it would take, but I think I could find a willing participant if the price got right for them.
The second way to be a regular is to show up regularly. This requires that you show up and that you show up fully. If you walk in with your head down and never speak to anyone and make it clear that you are not to be bothered, you probably don’t make it to regular status. But if you show up regularly, you offer a generous exchange, and you allow yourself to be seen, I think that’s the ticket.
You might be able to buy your way in, but you won’t be seen as a regular. You’ll be seen as the guy who bought his way in, especially if you aren’t willing to offer a generous exchange, and allow yourself to be seen. You’d always have to wonder if it’s you or the money that got you your seat. And what if the money runs out?
So long as you don’t compromise the things that matter, you can never run out of you.
Show up regularly, offer a generous exchange, and allow yourself to be seen. People will begin to recognize who you are, understand what to expect, and when you find the place that fits, they’ll engage back with you.
Then, in that place, you can be a regular.
I’m pulling for you,
Bryan
